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Book Review: The Martian by Andy Weir

Monday, August 18, 2014

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Mark Watney is having a really bad day. Due to a chain of accidents the astronaut has been marooned on Mars. Believing he’s dead, his crew left for Earth. He has no way to communicate with either the spaceship or NASA. Not that it matters, because in less than sixty days, he’ll be out of food, water, and air. Yup, a really bad day. Unless he finds a way to survive on a barren planet for four years until the next Mars landing, he will be completely and totally screwed.  

What is Right With This Book?
When you think back on your list of top ten books, more than likely most, if not all, will have been read before you turned thirty. The books you loved in your formative years stick to you like hot fudge to hips and stay a happy memory for the rest of your life. You revisit them now and then like old friends and leave with a warm and happy feeling. (After thirty, you are no longer formative. Mostly you are sludge that can only think with a regular infusion of caffeine and/or sugar—at least for me.) I accepted I would like a lot of books, even love some, but none would ever again make my list of favorites.

I was wrong.

The Martian is not just an example of an excellent science fiction book, but one of the best science fiction books I’ve ever read. There…I’ve gone on record and said it. Why is it great? Several reasons. Not only did Weir create a totally engaging hero, the book has a gripping, story that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Will Mark find a food source? Water? A way to communicate with NASA? Can a rescue be mounted or is he doomed to a lonely death millions of miles from home?

The Martian is also surprisingly funny. Science fiction that is heavy on technical data rarely brings a chuckle. Often it is pretentious and stuffy, but Mark Watney faces impossible odds with a hysterical, self-deprecating sense of humor that made me laugh-out-loud.

Finally, science fiction books often suffer from poor characterization, particularly of females. Let’s face it, most are written by men. Women come across as little more than cardboard cutouts stuffed in a space suit. Not so, The Martian. Although Watney is alone on Mars the book’s point of view bounces from him to the mixed-gender crews of the spaceship and NASA. Female characters are fully formed and completely believable.

What’s Wrong With It?
Nothing. Seriously, not one single word. I can’t remember the last time I’ve loved a book so much from start to finish. The Martian outshines anything I ever read by Niven, Herbert, Clarke or any of the other supposed grand masters. Okay, if you put a gun to my head, I’ll admit I hate the cover. It’s ugly.

Why YOU Might Not Like It 
Some books, even well-written ones, should come with a warning. The Martian is one of them. You will hate this book, not even make it through the first chapter, if you don’t like hard science fiction. What is hard science fiction? It is a story that is heavy on the science and technical details.  I’m a dweeb, I admit it. I love the sciency stuff. If you can’t stand techno-talk, please don’t start this book. You’ll hate every single page, think I’m crazy for writing a glowing review, and make me cry very salty tears. Don’t bother picking it up.

I received a copy of The Martian for free from Blogging for Books in exchange for this review.

L. A. Kelley is a co-blogger at The Book Cove.  She writes stories with adventures, romance, humor, and a touch of sass. You can find her at http://lakelleythenaughtylist.blogspot.com

Book Review: Smoldering by Tiffany Aleman

Sunday, August 10, 2014

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Book Information
Genre: contemporary romance
Age: New Adult
Pages: 337
Version: eBook
Series: standalone



(Blurb): Money ~ power ~ fame 

Kelsey
Growing up in the arms of one of the wealthiest families in America, I lived a champagne lifestyle and never wanted for anything.

That life came with stipulations…
1. Marry the man I don’t love.
2. Make my parents proud.

Wrong.

I left my Manolos and fancy apartment behind and fled that life to find out who I really was.
Someone unexpected bulldozed my life.

Riley Jackson
He was the man everyone, including me, wanted, but his future was one I wasn’t sure I wanted to thrust myself back into. And when he chose a career over the family business, his family supported him instead of pushing him away. 

My past collided with my future.
I didn’t see it coming. If I had, I would’ve ran far, far away. Now I’m stuck in the same position I started in two years ago, except this time, it’s not my decision to make.

Loyalty to your family? Loyalty to your own happiness?

Which would you choose?


Review

If you're into runaway brides and hot military men coming to pick up the pieces (raises hand!)- then Smoldering is the book for you!

The book blurb very accurately portrays the book. There's really not much more that I can say about the plot that won't give too much away. What I really liked about this book is that both characters are coming from similar backgrounds (be it physical or emotional). There's a lot of damaged soul meets soul healer and rags-to-riches stories out there (especially those dealing with military characters) but author Tiffany Aleman manages to keep the H/h on fairly even playing ground and it makes the story all the more realistic and enjoyable.

I think the part I liked the most is that both MCs were very well aware of their flaws, but not overly self conscious about them. They kept a level head when trying to deal with issues that came their way and reacted in ways that were realistic. For example, if one was caught in a compromising position the other would actually ask about the situation rather than through a b*tch-fit (which is very gender neutral, by the way) and then complain for the rest of the book... (We've all read waaaayyy too many of those)

The writing is pretty good and the scenes are turned up to a 10 every time.

The part of the writing that I didn't like so much is some of the repetitiveness. It was by no means repetitive to the point of distraction, but I'm a reader who can figure out what is going through a character's mind pretty well based on their actions and mannerisms (as long as the writing is good) and so I find repeat conversations and explanations a waste. (Repeat conversations as in the character will talk to person 1 about how they feel and get half of the advice and then use the same thoughts to person 2 or 3 for the other "parts" of advice)

Overall, I'd recommend Smoldering to just about anyone who likes this genre. There's not too much drama, the reader won't have to go through an emotional recovery post-read, and it's what I'd call a pretty "realistic fantasy" life.


News at The Book Cove: August-September updates

Friday, August 8, 2014

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Happy Friday!!

I'll make everyone's Friday just a little bit better by starting off with this cute picture of my puppy, Emma:



Too much cuteness to handle at once!

Now on to the news...

Reviews

I've finally gotten back into the swing of reviewing and I've slowly been accepting books to review (versus only reading books I've purchased due to time constraints). So more people on the review request list have been hearing from me, however, there are 100's on that list and I cannot (and do not) want to read them all. As  usual, I will try to get as many reviewed by guest reviewers as possible but that too is a little slow going these days.

Blog Takeover

Our last blog take over winner was Nick Tory. If you did not catch his entries, you should do so now! They're hilarious, spot on, and a little bit crazy!

In September we will have our 2nd blog takeover winner, author Emily Walker. And if her posts are anything like her winning entry answer to "In 50 words or less explain why you should get to take over The Book Cove for a week," then I'm sure that will be a riot!

"Jobs"

For those of you that do not know, or forget easily (like me), or just haven't considered it - The Book Cove has availabilities to guest post, guest review, and co-blog (all non-paying, unfortunately). If interested, send an email to bookcovereviews@gmail.com and we'll get something set up!

Upcoming TBR

Lastly, I thought I'd share what I'm reading and see if anyone has similar TBRs or any thoughts on them. 

Compromising Kessen by Rachel Van Dyken -  My interpretation: An arranged "royal" marriage  between an American and a Brit based on 18th century values in today's society. I love RVD's work so I'm pretty psyched to read this!

Above All by Rebecca Brooks - My interpretation - the backwoods gets steamy when a sour breakup brings a hot Chef and ready-to-bare-all woman together. I'm a pretty big fan of gratuitous hookups in the wild with sexy men that can cook (I'm talking about reading, guys...just reading about it ;)) So this should be great!

Book Review: Privacy Code (Shatterproof #1) by Jordan Burke

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

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It's been a while since I (Jessi) have put a review up! I've been pretty busy with work the last few months but every now and then I have managed to read a little before I go to bed. Most recently completed was book #1 of the Shatterproof series by Jordan Burke, Privacy Code.

Book Information
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Mystery, Suspense
Age group: New Adult
Pages: 178
Version: eBook

(Blurb): Everyone has secrets. No one has secrets like Watts.
Catherine Kolb has found the perfect diversion from her life of nearly complete seclusion: a virtually anonymous correspondence with a man she knows only as “Watts.”

Intelligent, mysterious, and with an insatiable appetite for sex, he begins to draw Catherine out of her closely guarded world, tempting her with his words—some dirty, some simply enticing…

“You should indulge your curiosities, especially the forbidden ones.”

Watts insists on privacy. He has no choice. In the wrong hands, his secrets could get people killed. Including Catherine.

Common sense says they should never meet, but curiosity and lust prove stronger than reason and caution. A planned one-time encounter sets into motion a series of events that bring Catherine and Watts to the edge of ecstasy and the brink of peril.

Two very private people. One risky night. A shot at love and redemption.


Due to mature themes, this book is recommended for readers 18+.

Review

I realized before starting this book that it would be a fairly short read and possibly have a cliffer. While I did finish it pretty quickly, there was enough of the first part of the plot resolved at the end to where the reader doesn't feel completely abandoned. Now that the important part is out of the way...

What I liked

This was a pretty impressive read! This series is the only work of Jordan Burke that is listed on Amazon, so it's especially impressive if this is the author's first work. I was hooked on the first page of Privacy Code and finished within hours. Part of the intrigue is that it starts out with a couple of emails to and from the H/h. "Watts" and Christine had met a few months back on a dating site and the reader gets thrown right into the middle of their ever-progressing online relationship; juicy bits and all! I'm hooked any time a book starts out with some smart conversation, humor, and sexy banter.

To describe the genre is a bit more difficult. Overall it is a contemporary romance. But the plot of book one is focused on Watts and Christine getting to know each other through emails and eventually taking the plunge to meet up (slight spoiler there, but I'm sure you would have figured it out anyways!). However, a majority of Watts' true identity is kept secret throughout the book - for reasons yet to be uncovered (book 2). And from what little information you have about him you find that he has an...interesting...job. So there is a bit of mystery and suspense added that gives the whole nature of the book a different feel; strangers meeting, online conversations, secrecy, excitement.

Add in some some very sexy scenes and you've got yourself a pretty damn good book!

What I didn't like

For a book under 200 pages I felt that it was very well paced and covered a good chunk of a story. However, I've said this before and I'll say it again, I don't understand why the book was split into 3 parts and released 1 week apart from each other. Well, from an author standpoint I kind of do (hook the reader with a "glimpse" of the story and then have them buy the rest), but I wasn't able to invest myself enough into the characters the feel the immediate urge to buy the rest of the books. I think a little more background could have been included in this first book to really hook me. Too much of both character's information was kept hidden for books 2 and 3 and in the end I felt I could do without reading the others. At least for now.

Honestly, more than likely I will not go back to the rest of the books. I've already moved on to others. This series will escape my mind for a while and then the next time I might happen across them who knows what I'll decide.

Overall, I would recommend this for someone looking for a NA contemporary romance with a bit of a different feel compared to many others out there. You'll just have to pay ~$1.60 per book - and not feel too cheated after the first book to not want to buy the next books.

Rating: 



Book Talk: Beverly Nault’s Tale of Two Very Different Cities and How Fiction Intruded on Fact

Monday, August 4, 2014

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Sometimes fiction collides with fact in the most unusual ways. Beverly Nault talks about her novel, Fresh Start Summer
. 
This is the story of two towns, one real and one imagined, that came together in an unusual way. Several years ago I began a book series based on a small town filled with folks you’d want to as friends in a setting you’d never want to leave. They would have their share of squabbles, but the quirky and colorful characters would get past their differences to strengthen friendships and their community.

Each title would take place during one season, so I pictured a main street with the changing appearance of trees, from the icicled branches in winter to spring’s promise of buds and blooms. I “planted” cherry trees that would blossom in the spring along cobblestoned walks lit with modern gas lamps, inviting park benches, and curiosity shops beckoning a leisurely visit.  This town would need the perfect name, something referring to the cherry trees. I searched the map and found a small town in Kansas named Cherryvale.  I hoped they wouldn’t mind me using their lovely name.

So began The Seasons of Cherryvale with the first title Fresh Start Summer. As the book released and I began marketing, I’d all but forgotten about the real town until I read a blog comment from a fellow named Richard. He asked me if I knew about the “real” Cherryvale.

Gulp. Yessir. I did. Hope you don’t mind me using your name!

I waited to see the town’s reaction. As it turns out, they did NOT mind at all.  After local inhabitants read the first book, they invited me to not only visit, but also bring my books to their next Cherry Blossom Festival. I graciously accepted and—after having to reschedule due to a freaky spring snowstorm—was treated to a VIP weekend where I had a very successful book signing, an appearance at the library, a private tour of the Cherryvale Museum and saw many sights around town escorted by my new friends, residents of the “real” Cherryvale.

How similar were the two Cherryvales?
They were so much alike I was shocked and pleasantly surprised. Both Cherryvales have a B&B, a beautiful town lake, lovely homes, and a quaint Main Street. Also, lots of school spirit as indicated by the high school football game we attended, and of course, challenges that any community has. Everyone has an interesting history—and some even whispered juicy nuggets for future storylines! Everything you might expect from any small town.

One of the most unusual likenesses between book and town was that in Fresh Start Summer a Hollywood crew arrived to film a movie. This sets off events that turn the town upside down. As I arrived in the “real” Cherryvale, a Hollywood crew had just finished filming a movie about “The Bloody Benders,” a notorious gang famous for their short but violent reign in the late 1800’s. (My fictional movie was not bloody, however.)

My favorite similarity though, is that like the fictional town I’d dreamed up, I felt an immediate sense of welcome as soon as I arrived in the real Cherryvale. I continue to keep in touch with my new “neighbors” through social media, and consider myself an honorary Cherryvalian, anxious to return for another visit as soon as possible.

We all want our neighborhoods to be a place of warmth and friendship, and readers yearn to read books to help them escape to a place or to go on an adventure they can remember fondly forever. I believe both Cherryvales fit their bills nicely.

FRESH START SUMMER is a finalist in the 2014 Reader's Favorite Book Award contest in their Humor and Inspirational categories. 

Beverly can be found at:
Twitter @bevnault
Amazon author page
bev@beverlynault.com








L. A. Kelley is a co-blogger at The Book Cove.  She writes stories with adventures, romance, humor, and a touch of sass. You can find her at http://lakelleythenaughtylist.blogspot.com

Book Review: How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters

Monday, July 21, 2014

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Life is full of hidden perils. Some you can see coming; smog, rabid dogs, visits by your in-laws. Some you can’t; El Nino, UV radiation, and the Hanta virus. Some you don’t expect at all. Thank goodness for Andrew Shaffer and his handy guide to threats you never even knew existed.  Why bother breaking a sweat over global warming or Thanksgiving with Uncle Dwayne when a greater danger lies in wait from a sharknado? For those not in the know a sharknado is a tornado that forms over the ocean. Its whirling fury sucks up several hundred sharks and then flings them out in a random pattern over the nearest city. Needless to say, this agitates the sharks and causes them to chomp away on people with happy abandon. SyFy Channel movies have been warning us to duck and cover for years, but no. You wouldn’t listen, would you? Now sharks are falling from the skies and you have no idea what to do.

Luckily Andrew Shaffer does. He has put all this useful information together in one place to give us poor terrified victims of unnatural catastrophes the best chance of survival. The book is divided into two sections; unnatural disasters and monsters. Each part covers a multitude of dangers humans may have to face. The simple layout makes it easy to thumb through as you’re running for your life. Running, by the way, rarely works when death is hot on your heels. What does work is rapid threat assessment followed by an adequate supply of guns, rockets loaded with dry ice, bombers dropping glaciers, dynamite, the occasional nuclear warhead, and a jewel called The Eye of Medusa (The last is only effective against a basilisk.)

Tips and Treats
Along with survival tips Shaffer also adds additional snippets of information on surviving the unnatural catastrophe. Making your last line of defense against a sharknado is not the time to figure out how to wield a chainsaw. Study the instructions first. Also useful to know are the melting points of various manmade objects. The St. Louis Gateway Arch is stainless steel and at 2600 degrees Fahrenheit is much more durable in the face of a firenado (tornado made of fire) than is the Statue of Liberty at a paltry 1984 degrees. Avid cooks will appreciate the recipe for fried gatoroid. After all, once you’ve disposed of something as big as a Greyhound bus it would be a crying shame to let all that good meat go to waste.


Stocking Stuffer
Do you have a crazed survivalist hiding in the basement? Or, better yet, a Boy Scout or Girl Scout in your family? Forget those silly Red Cross first aid manuals for Christmas. All they really need is How to Survive a Sharknado stuffed into their stocking in order to laugh in the face of death (or perhaps earn some really keen merit badges).

I received this book for free from Blogging for Books for this review.


L.A. Kelley  is a co-blogger at The Book Cove and writes books with adventure, humor, and romance with a touch of sass. Find her at  http://lakelleythenaughtylist.blogspot.com


End of the Line

Sunday, July 20, 2014

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    Before I get into it, I want to give a huge thanks to Jessi and The Book Cove for allowing me to take over the blog this week.  I had a blast.  This is a great website and blog and I feel some remorse for ruining it for seven days.  I was once told to always leave things the way you found them, but I just remembered that a minute ago and now it's too late.
    I put on my website's bio page that I live in the mountains and fight bears, but really that's just because I have no interest in writing an actual bio. While I do fight bears, I actually live near Chicago, am a special educator, and have two pre-school aged daughters. (I know every single word to Ariel's Part of Your World.)
    My writing is highly influenced by writers liked John Swartzwelder and Richard Stark.  I read a great deal and I try to read a bit of everything.  My all-time favorite books include, in no particular order, The Forever War, The Art of Fielding, Catcher in the Rye, A Visit From The Good Squad, What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats, and The Long Walk.   I've recently enjoyed The Good Luck of Right Now as well as some very good indie books, such as Ralph and the Purple Fly, Megan by Steven Novak and Angeli: The Pirate, the Angel, and the Irishman by the really talented Amy Van Sant.
    My illustrating is highly influenced by the drawings of second graders, and it would be very clear if you ever saw it.
    My wardrobe is influenced by a loose interpretation of the word 'clean'.
    My diet is influenced by a fictional dietician I created named Yums Tasty who talks about how eating a bunch of crap will lead to good health somehow.

    As I mentioned back in the first post, I've finished two books as part of a series that will be ongoing. I'm currently working on the third. The humor is basically the same style as what I wrote in the blog this week..... basically dumb, goofy and a little dark.  The main character is kind of a poor man's poor man who runs into a cast of weirdos and gets into seemingly unescapable situations.  The only two rules I really follow are avoiding cultural references and not swearing.  Not that I don't find filthy humor funny, but I need to be able to hand the book to my girls someday without entire pages ripped out.
    The tough thing about writing humor is how subjective it is.  I get positive feedback from people I don't know personally and I appreciate it and eat it up, and I negative feedback and I can't argue with that either.  You don't think it's funny?  That makes perfect sense.  That's why in the end I have to write what makes me laugh. That's the not so tough thing about writing humor.

    Whether humor or any other genre, what I love about a story or a book is a great character. I've always liked William Faulkner's quote, "It begins with a character, usually, and once he stands up on his feet and begins to move, all I can do is trot along behind him with a paper and pencil trying to keep up long enough to put down what he says and does."  My favorite stories are generally following this principle and are not chasing the plot.
    I love a character that I'm rooting for without really understanding why. The best characters do that for me.  They lose, they lose some more, and they make me question them, but then they offer up a chance of redemption and when they get it,  I'm right there with them.  
    At the end of the line I feel like more often than not we want books, even unrealistic ones, to offer us what the world can't regularly give us, and that's the line between good and bad.  If the line is faint, all the better, but when the dust clears, the bad guys get what's coming to them, and the good guys go home, maybe a little worse for wear.

Thanks for reading this week.


--Nick Tory is the author of the Johnny Book series.  Visit http://www.johnnybooks.com or follow him on Facebook or on Twitter @nick_tory.  




Stuff My Dad Said

Saturday, July 19, 2014

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Justin Halpern has probably taken advantage of Twitter more than anybody since it's inception.  He is the author of the popular handle, @shitmydadsays, which has almost 3 million followers.  He turned this into a best selling book as well as a television show.  If you aren't familiar with it, Justin posts things that his mostly angry old father says that have a kind of hilarious, bitter, and sideways wisdom to them.
Certainly part of the reason that the blog is so popular is that many people can in at least some way relate.  Our own parent's ramblings may be different from from Mr. Halpren, but to us it seems crazy just the same.
So on that note, I'm going to pay homage to Justin's popular work by sharing with you some of the wisdom that the late, great Mr. Tory shared with me.  140 characters or less.


- "You can be anything you want to son."

- "You owe it to yourself to give 110%"

- "A man is measured by how he treats others."

- "We believe in you son.  Make us proud."

- "Hey buddy, whatcha writing?"

- "Does that say 'late'?

- "Just got a call from Aunt Mel.  She says she read online that I'm dead."

-"Stop telling people online that I'm dead, Nick.  Your mother doesn't like it."

-"Just got mailed flowers from someone I went to high school with.  It's awkward to send these back."

-"Your mother said she read it again online this morning.  I'm not sure I get what you're doing."

- "As far as jokes go, this is really off-color."

- "Fine, do whatever you want.  But someday you will have a son and he will do this to you. Then we'll see how you like it."

- "Remember I said a man is measured by how he treats others. You're measuring zero right now."

- "Stop it.  STOP IT!"

- "I am living, son! As of today, July 19th 2014!  Oh, and call your sister and say Happy Birthday, would ya?"


I think we can all agree that my dad was full of his own unique brand of hilarious and surly wisdom.  I welcome you all to think of that classic lines your dad has spouted over the years and share them.  To fathers everywhere!

Tomorrow will be my final day in the week long blog takeover. I'm looking forward to one more post with The Book Cove.


--Nick Tory is the author of the Johnny Book series.  Visit http://www.johnnybooks.com or follow him on Facebook or on Twitter @nick_tory.  His real father is alive and well. 


Deeper or Hidden Meanings In Our Writing

Friday, July 18, 2014

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        I hope you enjoyed my tips for connecting with your readers.  In the second part of my series about effective writing I'm going to talk about deeper and hidden meanings within a text.  For centuries authors have been hiding and disguising their true intentions and literary scholars have loved to pour over what these underlying agendas might have been.  Almost every piece of writing from a classic like Catcher in the Rye to a simple children's book like Goodnight Moon has gone under the microscope.
        The key to weaving a hidden meaning into your writing is subtlety.  You might be talking about the need for political action but you write it in the form of a fairy tale. You might be writing about how you hate your neighbor Tom and you disguise it in some other form.  The literary classic Animal Farm is one of the most obvious examples as it very keenly tells the story of the Russian revolution.
        As a writer you don't need to come right out and say, "My neighbor Tom is a slimeball."  Instead, you skillfully knit the information in.  Some great works don't necessarily push an agenda with what they say, but simply allude to important aspects of the story or characters.  The novel The Lovely Bones does this extensively.  Author Alice Sebold isn't necessarily concerned with telling the world how much of a pompous windbag her neighbor Tom is.  Instead she is uses objects and actions within the story and gives them a greater value than what initially see.
        Just because you may not have a neighbor named Tom who is seemingly going out of his way to piss you off on a daily basis, it doesn't mean that you can't find a worthwhile cause to hide deep within your story.  The meanings may sometimes only be relevant to us.  Our protagonists may have characteristics of those we love.  Our antagonists may have characteristics of the rude, jerk-faced, dope who lives next door to you.  For argument's sake let's call him Tom.
        So remember, if you're looking to add another level to your piece of writing, look around and get inspiration from the things that you are passionate about and begin to shape your world that way. And if your blockhead of a neighbor insists on being the biggest ass-wipe that has ever walked the planet on a daily basis for no good reason whatsoever, then you brush it aside and show that you are the bigger man.
       Happy writing!



-Nick Tory is the author of the Johnny Book series.  Visit http://www.johnnybooks.com or follow him on Facebook or on Twitter @nick_tory. 

Connecting With Your Readers

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

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No matter what format you are writing for, as an author it is your job to find a way to connect with your readers.   It's your job to tear down the natural divide and invite them into the world that you have created.  Without that connection the reader will simply move on to something new, as there are no shortage of options to them, especially in today's world.
I offer up to you these tips to better connect with your audience.

1. Appeal to the reader's emotions.  If the reader is emotionally involved they will not lose interest.

2. Answer questions the reader might have.  If you can anticipate the questions the reader might have, then make sure you provide them with those answers in your work and the piece will be more complete.

3. Have a consistent voice. It's easy for an audience to tell when you are not authentic.  Be yourself throughout your writing.

4. Evoke curiosity. Give your reader a reason to keep turning the pages or moving through the article. Believe that what you have to say demands interest.

5. Have a plan.  Your reader will be impressed that you made a plan and didn't ask them what they wanted to do or pick a place just because it's close to you.

6. Keep things fresh. Your audience will appreciate spontaneity.  They're sick of you writing the same thing every Friday night. It would be nice to change it up a little bit.

7. Be complimentary.  Your reader likes to hear nice things every now and then. When you first meet them you said nice things all the time and now it's like you don't even care.

8.  Lend a hand. The sink is full of dishes and you're writing?  Your audience don't ask you to do much, just rinse the dishes you use and put them in the dishwasher.

9. Dress to impress.  Are you really wearing that again?  It's not even clean.  It's your reader's birthday and you knew that.  Can't you just dress like an adult?

10. Really?   If you loved your audience you wouldn't be acting like this. They thought they knew you.

11. Get out  of my apartment, you loser. The reader's friends told them that you were a jerk, but they don't listen. How could anybody love you when you don't even love yourself. Don't call the reader again.  Oh and have fun being a failed writer.


If you use these tips you may be able to connect with readers, which, more so than the quality of the words on the page, is what makes a great writer.  Good luck and happy writing!


-Nick Tory is the author of the Johnny Book series.  Visit http://www.johnnybooks.com or follow him on Facebook or on Twitter @nick_tory. 

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